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Divorce with Dignity


Divorce is hard. Divorce court, adversarial lawyers and uniformed judges make it far worse. Save yourself – and your children – from a nasty battle by staying out of court and doing divorce right. For too long, the prevailing divorce paradigm of ‘lawyering up’ has harmed families transitioning from one house to two.

In this book, you will learn that there are other more sane, humane and useful ways to divorce without leaving a train wreck in the aftermath. Even the most conflicted couples can keep their divorce out of court. Alternatives range from the casual do it yourself with no professional support, to a full service process with lots of professional support – and everything in between. You choose the process, you choose the pace, you choose the outcome. If you value your sanity, your emotional well being and that of your kids, YOU have the power to create a lasting and fair resolution. See that there can be a happily ever after for your family, even after divorce.


Courtrooms cause conflict. You will learn how to avoid a nasty battle that leaves everyone poorer, damages kids and ruins your life. You will see how to keep judges and lawyers from running the show, how you can stay in the driver’s seat and how to divorce with dignity to create the brightest future for your family.

  • Learn how you can control your divorce process and avoid greedy lawyers and uninformed judges making decisions for you• Learn to create goals during and after your divorce and how to support your well being
  • Learn how to avoid bad lawyers who create conflict to increase their billable hours
  • Learn which style of out of court divorce will work best for you
  • Discover alternative ways to divorce amicably without going to court
  • Learn which non-lawyer professionals can support your journey and how to choose the best ones


Save Yourself From a Nasty Divorce

  • see how lawyers, coaches, and financial experts can support you in reaching amicable agreements
  • see that even if you don’t get along with your spouse, you can still use an out-of-court process to divorce
  • see the benefits to yourself of divorcing with dignity
  • save time and money by creating a lasting agreement that won’t land you in court in the future fighting about the provisions
  • gain awareness of your needs and relationship patterns as you move through the divorce process
  • engage in a values based process – not one based on fear and 'gotcha'
  • see how an ‘interest’ based approach instead of an adversarial approach to resolution is beneficial
  • see how divorce creates a reorganization of life and how creativity in shaping the future is powerful
  • see how child and parenting specialists can assist you in decision making
  • avoid judges who make unpredictable decisions based on limited information and familiarity with your case
  • take the time to really consider what your post-divorce family structure will look like
  • really examine the long term financial outlook for your family
  • create an agreement based on honesty, integrity and full disclosure – no playing 'hide the ball’ with assets or information
  • engage in a voluntary process where you run the show
  • front load your divorce by fully engaging in the process and save time, money and stress in the future
  • learn that when handled with integrity and support, difficult transitions can lead to wonderful futures
  • create your own vision of what your post-divorce life looks like – your family is unique and you are uniquely qualified to know what works for you
  • brainstorm multiple scenarios of residential schedules and asset division until you come up with a solution that works for you
  • understand that as long as you and your spouse agree, YOU can create agreements that are fair and address your needs
  • there is no predicting what a court would order in terms of maintenance, child custody and asset division - the measuring stick of an agreement is whether YOU can live with it and whether YOU think the agreement is fair
  • you are the expert on your family and you know what it needs to move into a powerful future, not a random judge
  • understand that as long as your children are alive, you will be co-parents – it will be up to you to decide what that looks like for your family
  • do you both want to be at your children’s weddings? The out-of-court divorce is the best approach if you do